Not many people know this, but living in the South causes weird changes to happen to the human body. Honest! Scientists have proven it with science.

  • You become impervious to the heat - It's true. Living and working in the South messes with your body's internal temperature sensors or something, until you start thinking anything under 90° is really quite pleasant.
  • You have no tolerance for the cold - The other side of the temperature coin means anything below 70° is basically freezing, and you should probably start layering your clothes to fend off hypothermia.
  • Mosquitos don't bother you - Sure, they'll still bite you to suck out your precious blood, but you stop caring after, say, the 10,000,000th time it happens, which is usually around age 10 if you grew up here.
  • You talk funny - This is a weird one, but it happens. We all have a Southern drawl, but the strange thing is how it changes depending on who we're talking to. For example, if you're talking to an auto mechanic when he's working on your truck, you'll probably have a much thicker accent than when you're meeting with your kid's Assistant Principal because of that thing that happened in P.E. yesterday.
  • Your taste buds change - Spend enough time in the South where food actually has flavor, and your taste buds adapt to the point where eating anywhere else in the country becomes a tasteless education in culinary disappointment.
  • Your left arm gets darker than your right - If you live and work and, more importantly, drive in the South, put your arms together and check to see which one's darker. Chances are your left one will win, especially the bits you like to hang out the window on your way to the lake.
  • You can't help talking to people - Even the most introverted Southerner is more extroverted than most Yankees. Something about living here messes with your brain chemistry in a way that makes it absolutely impossible for you to avoid striking up conversations with any stranger who looks remotely friendly.
  • You move slower - It's probably just a side effect of the heat and humidity lowering your metabolism or something, but living in the Deep South slows you down when compared to how people tend to zip around in other parts of the country. We take our time around here, which tends to annoy people from up North, but whatever. They'll get used to it.
  • You like at least one Country song - Even if you don't identify as a Country Music fan and even if you hate most of the songs you hear, there's still at least one (and probably more) you secretly love. This is due to how the constant exposure to Country songs slowly reshapes your ear canal over time. Don't try to fight it.
  • You're never comfortable anywhere else - Sure, you can enjoy vacationing to parts unknown and you might even have a good time while you're there, but somewhere on the cellular level, your body can tell it's not in the South - and it'll eventually let you know. The air won't be quite warm enough, the humidity won't be quite high enough, the food won't taste quite good enough, and at some point, you'll start itching to be back home.

Did we miss anything?