Marriage is a beautiful thing. Two people pledging to spend the rest of their lives together through thick and thin, persevering in their love through even the most desperate of times is inspiring. Just be sure to read the fine print.

  • Saying “I like you" becomes a lot harder than “I love you” - When you’re dating someone, saying those three little words, I love you, is one of the hardest things in any relationship. But what no one tells you is that after you get married, saying I love you is easy. You’re married, after all. You’re in it for the rest of your life, and you’ll always love your spouse. Always liking them, however, can be a challenge. A husband constantly dribbling on the floor just in front of the toilet, or a wife leaving an endless string of rubber hair ties with bits of ponytail still clinging to them all over the house takes its toll. "I love you. I just don't like you right now."
  • Your pet will love one of you more than the other - It doesn't matter if you have a dog or a cat, a ferret or a rabbit. Pets are going to play favorites. Whether it's because your spouse feeds them more, or you give better belly rubs, your pets will choose one of you to love more than the other. This can be especially difficult if you came into the relationship with the pet, only to suffer the pain of betrayal every time it goes and crawls into your spouse's lap for some snuggle time. They're supposed to be your snuggles, and your significant other is stealing them. Jerk.
  • Holidays become nightmares - After you’re married, every major holiday stops being about you as a couple and starts being about both of your families. This means you’ll spend most of Thanksgiving driving all over creation to eat way too many turkey dinners until the only things you’re thankful for are going home to your fat pants and the fact that you won’t have to do it again for a whole year. Except that’s a lie, because Christmas. (Bonus driving if you include visiting grandparents.)
  • People won’t shut up about having kids - When you first get married, everyone from your parents to Karen in Accounting will start asking you when you’re gonna have kids. There’s just no way around this, for whatever reason. It’s a question that will follow you around like the evil Paranormal Activity ghost demon, and there’s no escaping it. Even after you have a kid, people will keep asking when you’re gonna have more. “Awww, he/she is adorable! When are you gonna give him/her a little brother/sister?” (If you never want kids, get ready to spend the rest of your life hearing all about how you’ll never understand the joy they bring.)
  • “Does this look infected to you?” - People are gross, even your spouse. Especially your spouse. Of course, you won’t find any of this out until after you’ve been married for a few years. Sometime after it becomes acceptable to fart around each other and just before you’re comfortable pooping with the door open, you’ll get to know each and every disgusting habit, weird little quirk, and questionable hygiene practices of your significant other. At some point, even the grossest of body horrors won’t phase you. That’s true love right there.
  • DO go to bed angry. - Don’t listen to people who tell you that you should always resolve a fight and make up before bed, as if those precious moments before sleepytime are the last either of you will have on the planet. The Grim Reaper probably isn’t going to pay you a visit overnight, so just go on and go to bed. Whatever you were fighting about will seem much less important in the morning, so wait until then to make up. This is especially important because...
  • You’ll have epic fights over ridiculous things. - You’re going to fight in a marriage, and if you don’t, your relationship probably has some issues. But the weird thing is that most of your arguments will be about really stupid stuff. Maybe your spouse loads the dishwasher wrong, or you have strong opinions regarding which way toilet paper should hang on the roll (over, for the record). Whatever stupid things you’ve got going on, you can bet you’re going to get into a knockdown drag-out about them with your spouse one day. The important thing is to remember to laugh at yourselves after the fight is over and you’re not angry anymore.
  • “We’ve got about 10 minutes before the kids get back.” - I’m not really going to explain this one. Couples without kids can try to figure it out. Parents already know.

There are more surprises, but we'll let you discover them yourselves. Please, married people, no spoilers.

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