The 5 Stages of Hurricane Season Grief
Hurricane season is upon us once again, so it's important to remember the five stages of grief everyone on the Gulf Coast goes through whenever a storm is headed our way. It doesn't matter if it's a tropical storm or a full-blown category 5 hurricane, it's always the same. We go from Denial to Acceptance in 3.5 drive-thru daiquiris.
"Nah, that ain't gonna hit us."
"There's no way it's coming here."
"Stupid weatherman! They're never right! They kept saying it wasn't gonna hit us!"
"Why does everyone have to go to the store at the same time?!"
"WOULD IT KILL YOU TO OPEN UP MORE CHECKOUT LANES, WALMART?!"
"Hey, boss. I know you want everyone to come in, but there's a storm coming..."
"Yeah, ok, but what if I just work half a day and then maybe..."
"Well, I guess I could always borrow my cousin's pirogue."
"What do you mean I should've charged my phone last night?!"
"Well, there goes my battery. What did people even do before cell phones? This is the worst!"
"WHAT ARE BOOKS?!"
"Boss made me go to work, but I flooded out my car, which is fine. Imma just sit here and watch Netflix while my phone charges."