Want to get in on the hottest new trend in body sculpting? We've got the best tips and tricks to getting the sweetest Dad Bod possible, just in time for summer!

  • Abs - The thing that separates the men from the boys when it comes to the perfect Dad Bod is a finely-toned potbelly, and there's no easier, faster way to getting there than through the magical elixir of beer. Lots and lots of beer. Just keep slamming down the Michelob Ultra (or whatever craft brew IPA floats your boat), and you'll have perfect Dad Abs in no time! (Don't worry. Soda works just fine, too.)
  • Chest - There are really only two ways to go here: ridiculously hairy, or splotchy, with patches of hair that resemble various land masses from nautical maps. Some dads make the mistake of shaving or waxing their chest hair, which is a rookie move. You're not in your 20s anymore, and you won't be fooling anyone. Let yourself go. It's the Dad Way.
  • Biceps - A perfectly-crafted Dad Bod requires good, sturdy biceps that, while plenty strong, have started to lose their definition between the teenage years and having kids. Ideally, one arm should appear slightly more muscular than the other, reflecting all the years of carrying around various children who were too tired to walk and refused to ride in the stroller your wife wanted that you ended up paying way too much for. Fortunately, the best workout here lines up with the best ab workout, so you can combine the two for the perfect Dad Bod. Just be mindful of your form as you're lifting those beers up. It's important to do a proper curl with the can or bottle as you lift it up to pour down your holler hole.
  • Legs - The key to perfect Dad Legs is to keep them looking like they've never seen the sunlight. The paler the better. We advise wearing jeans at all times, as they perfectly block the sun's tanning rays from your delicate leg meat. If you need to wear shorts for any reason, slather on some high SPF sunscreen while you're mowing the lawn or whatever. If you're naturally dark skinned, don't worry. The contrast between your legs and the rest of your body will still be pronounced enough to count. The only time your legs should see the light of day is when you hit the beach, where they'll dazzle onlookers and turn all the ladies' heads. (Mostly to avoid the blinding glare coming off your kneecaps, but whatever. Still counts.)
  • Head - If your hair is already thinning and your hairline receding, then congratulations! You don't really need to do anything. However, if you're in your mid-40s and still cursed with a full head of hair, there are a few steps you can take to achieve the perfect look. Just head over to your nearest Supercuts and ask for the Bruce Willis. Anything post-Moonlighting should work, from Die Hard to The Sixth Sense. If you'd rather give off the impression that, while your hair is thinning, you're still young at heart, then go for a slightly scruffy, unkempt look that isn't really fooling anyone, but shows you're still trying. (Ask for the Kiefer Sutherland.)
  • Face - Once you've achieved the perfect Dad Scalp, you need to work on getting the right facial hair. The secret to the perfect Dad Bod is achieving an older and wiser look that somehow suggests you're still hip and down with the kids, and nothing achieves this better than the Youth Pastor Goatee. There's a reason the goatee is so popular among old dudes trying to fit in with young people, so grab your razor and get to work.
  • Feet - The last step on your journey toward Dad Bod perfection is also the easiest. To achieve the best Dad Feet possible, all you need to do is grab a cheap pair of black socks and whatever sandals happen to be on sale at Walmart. When paired with your swimsuit and your pale, hairy legs, the black socks will highlight all your best bits, while the sandals evoke the spirit of dads everywhere. Consider adding props if you want to really nail the look. Newspapers work well for this purpose, as does tucking worn copies of John Grisham novels under your arm fat.

And that's all there is to it, guys! We hope this helps get you beach ready this summer. Remember, drink lots of beer, grow a goatee, and work those black socks like the sexy beast you are. You're a Dad now. Own it.

More From My Magic LC 92.1 FM